Did you know these things about me?
I used to be a wife.
I used to be a business owner.
I used to freely swipe a Black American Express.
I find inspiration in fashion, design, music, motherhood, miracles and a million other things.
And last summer, I found myself without all four. No husband. No business. No Centurion Black Card. No inspiration.
So I hit the streets to find, at least, a job.
After searching and searching and putting resumes out there for executive jobs, nannying positions – whatever, I finally got a position as a Sales Associate for Ann Taylor at Chandler Fashion Center. I was elated. My hiring manager, Julie, was a working mom like me with a big heart, integrity and in my interview when I got a littler teary-eyed about being down on my luck, living with my parents and nearly penniless, she got teary-eyed too. And I knew I had found a home, even if just a temporary one.
My days at the new Chandler Fashion Center Ann Taylor were fun; uplifting working amongst beauty and great women (including the clients) and working for a great company and team with integrity, family values and a love of their fashion-centric job. But more than just selling one of my favorite brands of fashion, I connect with the spirit of “Ann.” The beautiful woman trying to make her way, balancing life and work, friends and family, all whilst looking fabulous, staying positive, enjoying the connection with other women and others. That was me. That is me. I am Ann.
Though we went our separate ways when I was inspired enough, strong enough and well-dressed enough to go out into the world and accept a new career and life calling, I have never forgotten the hope that Ann instilled in me. That Julie herself stirred in me too.
And certainly, when inspiration hit me again. Again, at Ann Taylor. This time at the Loft in Gilbert.
You see, starting your life over is both brave and sometimes brutal. And recently I’ve finally gotten strong enough to think about starting my own business, but in business, capital is necessary to back your ideas. So I decided to apply for an American Express. After all, in my former life, I was a Black Card member. Surely they would remember me, and gladly welcome back the frivolous credit card swiper that I was.
They didn’t. I was declined a few weeks ago. The old me, the old life I had was worthy of an American Express. The real me, the girl starting over didn’t have enough credit and oddly enough, paid her bills on time and didn’t have any debt, wasn’t worthy of an Amex. My ego bruised, the real me, was determined to find away.
So fast forward to just this past week. No credit card and needing a bit of inspiration, I walked into the Ann Taylor Loft in Gilbert to browse. To be amongst the pretty colors and design if only just to look. To chit-chat with the sales woman about sales and maybe what I could afford on my shoe-string budget to update my last-year’s wardrobe to Spring 2012. But I left, without anything. I couldn’t afford anything. I shouldn’t afford anything. I didn’t feel like I deserved anything.
I walked out teary-eyed and 20 feet from the entrance, something caught fire inside my heart and I promptly turned around and marched back in. I needed a credit card. I needed a credit card to get another business credit card. Though I was certain they would say no, I bravely asked Heather, a newbie Sales Associate with only 8 days of Ann under her belt, for a card and while it was processing, gave her a little bit of my down-on-my-luck story, was too afraid to look her in the eye and 30 seconds later: APPROVED!
We looked at each other, I almost cried and said, “I can’t believe it.” Heather told me I had $250 to spend and 20% off. I looked at her and said, “I know what I need.” I picked out three smart, but gorgeous business dresses that represent the best me, as a business woman. As we chatted about the credit-card miracle and me trying on my new dresses, she reminded me of what the card and the dresses meant: A little more independence. A little more Kira.
As I was checking out, again, Heather and I shared a bit about our lives. And gave each other a little hope. I told her how I had started with Ann just a few months back after months of searching and rejection. She told me it was her first job after years of being a stay-at-home mom and after 19 other job applications failed. But like me, it was time to take care of herself. To gain a little bit of her own independence, to move on from past heartbreak and to find a little more hope. It was time for us both.
So a little teary-eyed, the good kinda tears that come from the heart and from the inspiration of a miracle, Heather and I hugged and I left with my new dresses and $15.00 still left on the card. And a Black Card limit of hope: infinite. And a renewed sense of connection with my spirit, my inner “Ann,” and the miracles, that are found everywhere and available to anyone, in anything.
xo, Kira
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6:30 AM |
4.9.2012 |
